Alissa

Born: 1981
Current Residence: Bellingham, Washington, USA

2/5/00: A friend in high school told me her liasion with a married couple she knew. And suddenly it dawned on me in the strangest way that "I could be gay." That's the simple version of it. I don't why it seemed like such a surprise at the time.  I spent plenty of time in my childhood flipping through Penthouse and reading about threesomes—granted, I am not sure if [it] really gave me any idea of reality/being queer. I always supported gay civil rights but just never considered myself "one of them." The whole process of going from "I'm straight" to "I'm bi" took around a month.  A few more months and I said "I'm lesbian." And now after a couple years I say "I'm queer."  Looking back I debate if it was a choice. At least to say now I can't imagine ever being straight again.

I believe that I chose to be queer because it seemed perfectly normal.  I never thought that being gay was evil or bad. But I just didn't realize the option for a while. I cho(o)se to acknowledge/discuss my queerness as a way of fighting homophobia. I choose to have queer relationships because it makes me happy. Possibly [the choice was influenced by biology], I have troubles thinking that I could go through my whole life without being queer. But I don't think that proves any definitive answer to the question.

I don't think I was like the typical "I hate myself because I am queer but I have to be who I am" scenario. And I never really sat down and said to myself that turning queer was a conscious choice, it just kinda *happened*. But I do think every choice I make that encourages my queerness makes me feel better. i.e. choosing to be open with people has given me a lot more confidence.

It seems I hear a lot of people claiming it's biological but there are still many that say it's a choice. Either way, I notice that if the person doesn't like queers, it doesn't matter what theory they adhere to, they find a way to "prove" how wrong and evil we are.

Back to QueerByChoice Member Profiles
Add or Change Your QueerByChoice Member Profile
Back to the QueerByChoice.com Homepage

Quotes from list members are © 1999-2009 by their authors.
The rest of the site is © 1999-2009 by Gayle Madwin. All rights reserved.