PFLAG National Mentions Us
in Their Weekly Email Alert

The statement below was the #2 item included in the weekly Email Alert from PFLAG National on January 21, 2000. PFLAG National never informed us that we were mentioned in the alert (we found out from the chapters) and we would have preferred that they not mention us at that time since we were still in the process of surveying chapters to get an accurate picture of the various chapter policies on choice. We obviously could not obtain accurate information when PFLAG National informed the chapters that we were from a queer by choice group before they'd had time to answer our survey. Nonetheless, it was nice that they included links to our websites, so the mention was not entirely unwelcome.

It's also worth pointing out, however, that the item listed immediately below this one in this same weekly email alert was a letter to the editor complaining about "the intolerance and hate that [homophobes] direct toward a segment of God's children who do not choose to be born gay or lesbian, any more than I chose to be born blond and right handed." Excuse us—that same intolerance and hatred is directed at all queer people regardless of whether we choose to be queer or are born queer and regardless of any beliefs we may have about why we are queer. Showing disrespect for the belief systems that some of us hold only compunds the pain we already suffer from homophobia.

2.  Sexual Orientation: The Nature or Nurture Question

A number of PFLAG chapters have received an inquiry regarding the chapter's stance on whether sexual orientation is a choice or an innate characteristic.  We have received several questions about this email from chapters and wanted to explain the situation.

There is a loosely organized group of glbt people who believe that their sexual orientation is their choice. One of the leaders is based in New Orleans, and has been discussing the issue with the New Orleans chapter and is dissatisfied with their response.  Last week someone from the "queer by choice" group sent an email to a number of PFLAG chapters on this subject.

PFLAG National is discussing how to proceed, but we wanted to make you aware of this situation.  Please share any emails that you receive with your Field Manager.  We'd also appreciate hearing any thoughts you have on the subject.

For more information on the group that believes that queerness is a choice, see their website at [now moved to], which includes information on the issue, a reading list and links to other sites.  An additional site on this topic is at

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