5/21/17: Hello! My name is Molly and I'm currently 14 years old.
I wish I was alive when this website was founded. It might sound ridiculous, but I actually wish I was alive when "born that way" still was up to debate and political queerness was considered an option.
Saying that queerness isn't 11000000% genetic in todays world is equvilent to shouting that Hitler did nothing wrong. The world has been brainwashed.
I decided to become a lesbian when I was twelwe. Not because I hated men or because I identified as a feminist (I didn't hate men nor did I identify as a feminist), but because of various benefits of homosexuality over heterosexuality, such as gender apathy and no unwanted pregnancy.
Growing up, I noticed a certain trend. When I said: "I love Michael so much. Everyday after school we hang out and play video games. He is so funny and kind, and very beautiful too!" everyone would respond with something like this: "Molly is in love with Michael! They kiss and cuddle and makes babies, and when they grow up, they're gonna get married!".
However, when I said: "I love Sophia so much. Everyday after school we hang out and play video games. She's so funny and kind, and very beautiful too!" people would respond differently. Very differently, in fact. Most would say something indifferent like: "Great for you".
Why? The ONLY difference between those scenarios are the gender of my loved one. I thought Scandinavia had so much gender equality?
Basically, I decided to destroy this idea.
I wasn't attracted to women by the start. I began considering them in that way. It was a very consious decision. I began looking at a woman I found beautiful (I'm pretty sure 95% of people can tell if a person of their non-preferred sex is beautiful, it had nothing to do attraction) and focused on things people usually found "sexy" in women and learned to appreaciate them in a sexual way rather than just aesthetically. When I found a girl with a great personality and good looks that I got along with, I simply allowed myself to consider her a potential romantic partner instead of just a friend.
I still found lesbian sex gross (I primarily fantasized sexually about males) and couldn't imagine myself in a homosexual relationship for a long time. But I learned to love both. Now, I can't wait to find a girlfriend and have sex with her. I don't really fantasize about heterosexual sex anymore.
As I see it, everyone has sexual mental boundaries. Because let's face it, a tongue is a tongue and a hand is a hand, and a phallic shaped object is a phallic shaped object. The physical stimuli is the same. However, for some reason, we find certain tongues or hands gross, and we are "turned off", while we find others "hot" and we are "turned on".
These mental boundaries can and does change over time. For example, all children has a mental boundary for sex in general and finds it "gross!!". Many female-attracted people have a mental boundary for women with armpit hair. Many men claims they wouldn't even be able to get an erection from such women. Yet, 300 years ago, no women shaved, yet somehow heterosexual sex survived.
Some of these sexual mental boundaries are undoubtly great and neccesary. For example, most people have a sexual mental boundary regarding incest, pedophilia, beastiality and rape, although your brother's, a child's, a horse's, and a rape victims' tongue are the same a mature adult's. Others, however, are unnecessary. My mental boundary for other women was unecessary. It was something I wanted to go away. Because I wanted to be a lesbian for personal reasons, I decided to break down my mental boundary for women. And I'm happy I did.
And honestly, I encourage everyone to do the same.
Homophobes (or just people who are opposed to homosexuality) have extremely different beliefs about what causes homosexuality. Some examples:
It doesn't matter why we're gay. We're here, we're queer, get used to it.