PFLAG National's Statement of Support

The following supportive statement was included in PFLAG National's quarterly affiliate mailing, sent out to the chapters the week of September 3, 2000. It was followed by a selection of quotes from various chapters' responses to our inquiries in January about the chapters' policies on choice, mostly the same or extremely similar to the responses quoted on our "Quotes from Safe Chapters" and "Quotes from Unsafe Chapters" pages (including many of the exact same quotes, in fact). The responses were categorized into "welcoming" and "unwelcoming" attitudes toward queer by choice people.

From PFLAG National, September 3, 2000

Part of PFLAG's mission is to provide an opportunity for dialogue about sexual orientation and gender identity—and we do that.  One of the topics now under consideration by the national Board of Directors has been brought up by those who identify as "queer by choice," and have found that some PFLAG chapters are not open to that viewpoint.

Issues of what causes sexual orientation and gender identity are complex, and there are deeply held feelings about it among PFLAGers.  Regardless of our personal feelings,  it is important for PFLAG on the national and local levels to honor people's experiences of their sexual orientation and gender identity, and to welcome them into the organization.  We are all committed to the same goal—making the world safe for GLBT people and their loved ones.

We encourage PFLAG chapters to discuss this issue and strategize about the best way to welcome people who are queer by choice and their loved ones into PFLAG.  For more information and resources, contact your Field Manager at 202/467-8180.

Our only objection to this statement (but it's a huge objection!) is that it refers chapter leaders only to their Regional Directors within PFLAG for more information, rather than referring them to real queer by choice people who can answer questions about what it means to be queer by choice. And since the Regional Directors have been told not to contact us either, this puts both the Regional Directors and all chapter leaders in the extremely uncomfortable position of being simultaneously asked to provide queer by choice people with support, yet forbidden to contact the most active queer by choice organization in the country for information on how to do so. In fact, if any queer by choice person contacts any PFLAG chapter offering to provide support, the chapters have been told to avoid speaking to this person for fear that this person belongs to our group which supposedly cannot be trusted. (See Kirsten Kingdon's letter to chapters for the extremely hypocritical and downright dishonest accusations against us, and our public statement of self-defense for our side of the story.)

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