Suggestions for Safer Books and Links

We've noticed that many PFLAG chapters have pages full of recommended books and links that rely heavily on books and websites declaring that "sexual orientation is not a choice," and we understand that it may be difficult for some PFLAG members to find enough good books and websites for parents that don't make such generalizations. So we wanted to offer some books and links that can be helpful to parents but that don't impose any ideas that would not apply equally to all queer people. These are not specifically queer by choice books or websites—they're just great general interest queer books and websites that have been verified as not containing any statements denying the possibility of choice.

The Pink Triangle FAQ states that "For some, sexual identity is arrived at after a conscious and careful decision, a choice. They may prefer the term 'sexual preference.' For others, sexual identity is something they have felt strongly ever since they can remember, and the only choice involved is the choice to openly acknowledge that identity. Such people may prefer the term "sexual orientation."

A Bisexuality Primer from the British Columbia Bisexual Network, Canada includes a statement that "Many people assume, solely, that bisexuality is just a phase people go through. In fact, any sexual orientation can be a phase. Humans are diverse, and individual, sexual feelings and behavior can change over time. . . . An orientation that may not be permanent is still valid for the period of time that it is experienced."

"10 Questions About Lesbians" is a choice-friendly FAQ from the International Lesbian Information Service: "If a woman chooses to be a lesbian, she is one. Many women do not have a free choice about the way they want to live and love, but they may be lesbians also. . . . There would be many more lesbians if women had a free choice. . . . But in some societies women are free to choose, while in others women have little choice about how they will live."

"History of Sexual Orientation Research" from the Robert Koch Institut in Berlin. This site summarizes all the research for the past 150 years, points out the weaknesses and homophobic motivations behind virtually all of it, and inquires.

"What, Exactly, Is Heterosexuality, And What Causes It?" This satiric and very insightful infographic by Alan Wakeman, originally published in the book Heterosexuality by Gillian E. Hanscombe and Martin Humphries, points out the homophobic ideas inherent in a wide variety of "explanations" for what "causes" homosexuality.

Scott's Library: Human Sexuality and GLBT Resources is a little-known but truly fantastic compilation of online GLBT information resources.

Jennifer's Bisexuality Index Page helps people who are questioning whether they're bisexual to choose labels for themselves, and carefully avoids making any assumptions about what caused their sexual orientation.

"An Analysis: Heterosexuality in the Male" by L. Craig Schoonmaker, from Homosexuals Intransigent! No. 2, February 25, 1970. "Recent sex surveys have come to the conclusion that a startlingly large percentage of U.S. men are at least in part heterosexual. It is important that society understand the nature of their abnormality and its implications. Thus this paper."

Back to PFLAG: Building a Safe Environment for Our Parents to Learn About Our Choices
Back to the Homepage

© 2000-2009 by Gayle Madwin. All rights reserved.